


Wounds

by Umbiee



Category: H2O Delirious - Fandom, H2OWILDCAT - Fandom, I am Wildcat - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Original Character Death(s), Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 03:52:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3921895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umbiee/pseuds/Umbiee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler lost Jonathan and now he has face to past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wounds

**Author's Note:**

> Suicide is mentioned. I cried while writing this.

 

_I'm so tired of being here_   
_Suppressed by all my childish fears_   
_And if you have to leave_   
_I wish that you would just leave_   
_'Cause your presence still lingers here_   
_And it won't leave me alone_

Tyler woke up to the sound of plates flying and pots falling off the dish rack. His heart beat sped up and his breathing got faster. He didn’t know what to do. Jonathan had been gone for months but he’s still here making sure Tyler knows not to forget about him. Tears started to brim Tyler’s eyes as he remembers their last fight. It was over money none the less. Jonathan walked about and never came back, or at least in the mortal world. Tyler had gotten the awful news via the police and his world caved in. They had been married for not even six months before the accident occurred. A tragic ending to a fairytale.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_   
_This pain is just too real_   
_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

The phone call from the station was a somber one. They told Tyler what had happened and the doctors say Jonathan died in no vain. Tyler broke their house phone and smashed the TV. He was pissed at Jonathan. His heart was heavy and the pit in his stomach never went away. Death did them part. Tyler was sure he ran out of tears, but he didn’t. He cried almost every night and still does.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_   
_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_   
_And I held your hand through all of these years_   
_But you still have all of me_

Jonathan’s side of the king bed was cold and untouched. The flat pillow remained tucked under the blue comforter and the sheets were still underneath the bed. Tyler refused to move anything of Jonathan’s and kept it all the same. The dirty clothes stayed on the floor by the walk-in closet, becoming stale in scent. The clean clothes still hung in the closet. Jonathan’s gaming set-up was still how it was left. The office chair face the door begging to be sat on. Once a week Tyler dusted the room. He did turn off the computer and system so no fear of a fire comes about. Tyler thought maybe if there was a fire he would die and see Jonathan again. That’s horrible, but Tyler didn’t care. He wanted to see his husband again and he was desperate to do so.

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light_   
_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_   
_Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams_   
_Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me_

Tyler looked around and saw Jonathan’s favorite photo of them. It was when they were in Boston for PAX East and it was the first time they had met. Tyler had his arm swung around Jonathan’s shoulder. Tyler is only two inches taller than Jonathan, something almost everyone had been surprised about. Tyler also found Teddy. The stuffed bear was a wedding gift from Tyler’s mom to Jonathan. The bear at blue eyes and wore a blue tie, like Jonathan did on their wedding. Tyler hugged the bear and the scent of lilacs filled his nose. Jonathan’s favorite cologne was the scent of roses and it always drove Tyler crazy. Tyler hugged the bear when he heard a voice behind him.

“Tyler what are you doing?” Asked Evan.

“Cleaning.”

“You’re hugging Teddy.”

“I know, but I miss him Evan. I miss him so fucking much. I miss his dumb face and his dumb laugh,” Tyler whispered.

“I do too. But he’s-“

“Somewhere better. I’ve heard that so much. What’s better than being with your husband? Huh Evan? Nowhere is better. He was my heaven and I was his. We vowed to be together and hoped that death never did us part but it did. It fucking did!” Tyler cried out while squeezing the bear. “I did everything I could to make our wedding possible. My family hated the fact I was gay and was in love with a man not a woman. I did so much to convince them to come to the wedding. And he fucking leaves me to deal with the hate from my family by myself. They give me so much shit about his death Evan. It’s so unhealthy but they do it.”

“I’m sorry Tyler. I’m so fucking sorry. I hate seeing you like this. I miss him too. He was my best friend. He’s the reason we’re friends. Fuck he’s the reason for a lot of things. I’m sorry that your family hates you,” Evan said reaching for Tyler. Tyler took the offering and hugged Evan.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_   
_This pain is just too real_   
_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Tyler finished cleaning and went out with Evan, Craig, Brock, and Marcel. They decided to celebrate Jonathan’s birthday at a local bar in North Carolina. Tyler invited Luke but Luke kindly refused. Tyler understood why and he wasn’t going to push it. The May night was perfect for drinking. The moon was full and the stars shined at their brightest. The air was filled with warmth and laughter of the downtown bar vibe from all over. People were everywhere. Tyler smiled as the crowd reminded him of Jonathan. No matter the person Jonathan always made someone laugh when they were in a crowd. Tyler looked at the guys and smiled brightly.

“What?” Craig asked

“Remember when we were at PAX a few years ago and Jonny made someone piss themselves?”

“Yeah! That was so funny. What was it about?” Evan asked smiling.

“I don’t remember but whatever it was must have been fucking hilarious,” Tyler chuckled grabbing the bar door before it closed. He held it open for the rest of the guys. “All I remember is the person yelling that they peed themselves while laughing. Jonny were a smug look all day after that.” Tyler sat down in the red leather booth making room for the rest of them. Craig sat across from him next to Brock and Marcel. Evan shared with Tyler.

“He was such a social person. Not afraid to go up to someone and start a conversation. It didn’t matter who it was or where it was, he made someone laugh,” Marcel added. “Now he’s in the afterlife making everyone else laugh.”

Tyler took a deep breath in, “yeah he is. Maybe he’ll see his sister.”

“Maybe.”

Evan ordered them Jonathan’s favorite drink, a Sam Adams. Tyler hated Sam Adams but he drank it anyway. They cheered to Jonathan and drank.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_   
_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_   
_And I held your hand through all of these years_   
_But you still have all of me_

Tyler got out of the taxi and stumbled to the front door. He grabbed his keys and opened the oak door. As he walked in, he got goose bumps all along his arm and back. He knew what that meant. Jonathan was with them.

“Happy Birthday Jonathan. I hope you celebrated it up there with your loved ones,” Tyler gulped. “I really do. Some of the guys and I celebrated here for you. Luke couldn’t make it. I’m sure you know why and aren’t angry at him for it.” Tyler looked to the floor and saw the Boston picture on the floor. The frame had been broken. Tyler squinted at it. He had Jonathan’s office door shut and the frame could not have been it all the way to the first floor by itself. Tyler shook as he bent down to pick it up. He sat down on the floor next to it and leaned against the wall. He took the precious memory out of the frame. There was a note in the frame.

_Tyler, if you are reading this it means I’m gone. I’m sorry for what I did to you and how it was all a lie. I didn’t die on accident. It was all on purpose. I committed suicide my love and I’m sorry. I jumped in front of the on-coming traffic. I know I traumatized the driver but I had to. I did something in my past that caused it. I’m telling you what it is but soon you may find out what it is. It will take time before I move on into the afterlife and stay for obvious reasons. I’m sorry for what I did._

_With Love,_

_Jonathan_

Tyler’s eyes widen. He couldn’t believe it. This was Jonathan’s way of telling him goodbye and answering Tyler’s questions. Tyler was pissed. He was heart broken and he needed to know what caused Jonathan to do what he did.

“Why Jonathan?! Why?” Tyler cried out. Tears started to fall rapidly. He threw the paper and picture across the room. “Why would you do this to us? Huh? You destroyed my life when you died. I loved you so fucking much and you ruined it all, motherfucker. I’ve been tormented since your death by my family. Oh God help me,” Tyler sobbed into his hands. He needed Evan or anyone else to be there. His heart was officially broken. It was shattered like broken glass.

Tyler soon heard a familiar voice. It was Jonathan’s. The voice was quiet. But all it said was “Sorry.”

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_   
_But though you're still with me_   
_I've been alone all along_

Days passed before anyone had saw or heard from Tyler. Evan went over to the white house to see Tyler. From there Tyler told Evan what happened. Evan was shocked by it. He never knew Jonathan could be capable of it. Evan tried to cheer Tyler up but nothing was working. Evan tried to justify it but there was no justifying it. Whatever Jonathan did had to be major.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_   
_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_   
_And I held your hand through all of these years_   
_But you still have all of me_

After a year of pain and suffering, Tyler moved on to another chapter in his life. He met someone else who was almost like Jonathan, but not quite obviously. They understood where Tyler was coming from for they have also lost their husband who was killed in action.

Tyler felt bad for moving on but he needed to. He couldn’t stay in the past anymore and mourn forever. It wasn’t healthy for anyone. Tyler always remembered Jonathan but he couldn’t forgive Jonathan for what he did. And for that Jonathan never moved on. Tyler knew that and he tried everything to make sure Jonathan did, but he was told over and over that until Tyler can forgive him, he will. But Tyler can't. Jonathan did something and made sure it was lied about. Jonathan lied to Tyler and in their vows they vowed to never lie. Tyler just couldn't forgive him for that.

_...me, me, me._

**Author's Note:**

> My Immortal - Evanescence


End file.
